Golf can be a frustrating game at the best of times and at some point or another we have all considered buying new clubs, getting lessons or turning to the latest gadget to improve our scores. Certainly new clubs can help, lessons almost certainly will and gadgets like GPS systems and range finders are useful tools if you can play the game to a certain standard but there are other gadgets that any self-respecting golfer/human being should steer clear of! Unfortunately we all have that relative who always sends dodgy golf paraphernalia ever Christmas so here are ten of the worst golf gadgets you may well be getting your hands on come December.
Kooler Klub
There’s not a lot that beats an ice cold pint of beer after a round of golf, especially when you are on a golf holiday in the sun. Some courses have the facilities and services to ensure you don’t have to wait for that chilled beer. Halfway houses and refreshment carts are becoming increasingly common but for those of you who can’t even wait that long a new invention has the answer to your prayers. The Kooler Club is a drink dispensing machine that is disguised as a driver…in case your local course has rules against taking drinks onto the course!
Incred-a-Ball
If you struggle with the flat stick, can’t seem to buy a putt and have no morals whatsoever then why not get your hands on an Incred-a-Ball. The Incred-a-Ball is a remote control golf ball that will banish three putts for good. Hopefully your playing partners won’t notice the remote control in your hand…and won’t find it strange to see a golf ball endlessly circling the hole until it drops. We suggest you should just practice the conventional method!
Hook n Slice
This is an ingenious (not) solution to conditioning your swing to produce arrow straight shots every time you strike a ball. Just click the Hook n Slice onto the bottom of your clubs shaft and swing away. The Hook n Slice will then give you instant feedback and tell you whether you have hit a hook, a slice or a good shot. We have highlighted a few problems with this revolutionary product.
a) It impedes your vision and you can no longer see the golf ball at address.
b) It throws the weight and the balance of your club off thus producing erratic shots.
c) Audible feedback on your shot is unnecessary as all golfers already have a tool for detecting a hook or a slice…their eyes!
Potty Putter
With the nights drawing in and the weather becoming increasingly erratic it is becoming more and more difficult to spend time on the practice putting green but don’t fret; the Potty Putter is the perfect solution. Next time nature calls put down your copy ‘How I play golf by Tiger Woods’ and set up your Potty Putter. The Potty Putter is a toilet mat that doubles as a putting green and you even get a plastic cup, a ball and a putter to use from your seated position.
Pop a Putt
If you’re the kind of golfer who dabbles in a bit of matchplay you will know the feeling of praying for your opponents putt to lip out or miss completely. Thankfully these unsporting thoughts are thing of the past thanks to the Pop a Putt. This clever little plastic device sits in the bottom of the cup and when a ball is holed the spring loaded contraption releases and fires the ball back onto the green. It may become suspicious when you insist on ‘checking the hole for faults’ before each one of your playing partner’s putts but here’s to trying!
Poly Max Extremes
A few years back the Callaway ERC driver started a revolution of thin faced drivers that sent the ball immense distances through the air thanks to a trampoline effect from the clubface. These drivers were swiftly outlawed in competition but if you still fancy hitting the long ball and you don’t have a problem with cheating then the Poly Max Extremes are for you. Simply stick one of these clear plastic strips onto your clubface and watch the ball soar thanks to an undetectable trampoline effect and reduced side and back spin.
USB Putt Returner
If you can’t get away with bringing your practice putting matt into work then fear not. The discreet USB Putt Returner simply plugs into your computer’s USB port and returns any putts you may hole…from a few inches away…using a tiny putter and ball bearings. Hardly going to help your putting is it?
Big Daddy Driver
Another ingenious product for those of you out there with a lack of morals and the willingness to cheat! We all know the sinking feeling of finding our ball in sitting deep at the bottom of the rough leaving us no chance of advancing it further than 30 or 40 yards up the fairway. That will never be a problem again thanks to the Big Daddy Driver. The Big Daddy Driver has a built in strimmer unit that allows the golfer to discreetly (cough) cut away the grass that surrounds their ball leaving it in a more manageable lie.
URO Club
We have all been caught short on the golf course and been left to scramble into the nearest woods to relieve ourselves when nature calls. Thankfully the URO Club has solved that problem and now we can pee in the middle of the fairway and no one will know! Just pull out your URO Club, remove the cap, protect your dignity with a handy green towel, known as the ‘privacy shield’, and let it flow. Of course that means you will be playing the rest of the round with what is essentially a bottle of urine in your bag. You surely must also remove one of your actual golf clubs to make room for your stylish catheter. We will just stick to the trees!
Golf Ball Launcher
Sick of being out driven by your playing partners? Desperate to hit the long ball? Well now you can with the Golf Ball Launcher. Well…actually…you can’t as the Golf Ball Launcher is not some new-fangled driver that gives you the extra yards you crave but an actual bazooka style golf ball launcher that can be set to launch your ball from 50 to 300 yards. We have a funny feeling it may be banned by the R&A…and the USGA…and all golf clubs on earth…and the police.
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