It’s fair to say that, while on the course, golfers speak a language that would be unfamiliar to pretty much everybody else on the planet; a language that can only be learned through years of toiling away on the fairways, trying to get a ridiculously small ball into an even smaller hole!

Some golfers talk the talk even when they aren’t walking the proverbial walk and most of the time; the golfing jargon that comes out of their mouths certainly isn’t 100% honest.

To clear things up a bit, we thought we’d knock up a little glossary of things golfers say and what they REALLY mean!


When your matchplay opponent holes a 10 footer for a half: “Well in.”

Translation = “Lucky git.”


After your playing partner takes three shots to escape from a bunker: “There’s no sand / too much sand in this bunker.”

Translation = “I have no idea how to hit bunker shots.”


When shaking hands on the first tee: Golfer 1 – “Play well mate.” Golfer 2 – “Yes, have a good game.”

Translation = Golfer 1 – “I hope you hack it around and run out of golf balls.” Golfer 2  –  “And I you.”


When you partner misses a tap in for a half down the 18th: “Hard luck.”

Translation = “YESSSSSSSSSS!”


When you’re in the clubhouse explaining your most recent + 0.1: “I played well, I just didn’t score.”

Translation = “My par down the last was the first one of the day; I only hit two fairways, missed most of the greens and couldn’t hole a putt to save my life.”


When the “big hitter” who’s obsessed with how far he hits it gets outdriven for the 1st time in the round: “That came so far out of the heel I almost missed the ball!”

Translation: “How the hell did he just knock it past me?!”


When explaining your matchplay loss to the team captain: “He just couldn’t miss a putt.”

Translation = “He outplayed me all day, fully deserved the win and I can’t putt for toffee.”


After hitting an approach shot into the trees at the back of the green: “I got a massive flyer.”

Translation = “I picked the wrong club.”


When explaining yet another snap hook into the cabbage: “I just can’t hit this driver. The shaft is too whippy.”

Translation = “I just can’t hit a driver.”


After a 10 foot putt misses the whole by a mile: “How the hell does that putt break uphill?”

Translation = “I can’t read greens to save my life.”


While trying to help your matchplay opponent find their golf ball in the tall rough: “You’d have to stand on it to find it in this stuff.”

Translation = “I really don’t want you to find this golf ball…can’t I just have the hole?”


50 yards up the 1st fairway after teeing off with someone you only just met: “So what do you do for work then?”

Translation = “I couldn’t care less what you do for work but four hours is a long time not to talk to someone.”


After hitting the ball 50 yards short of the driveable par-4 in summer: “That gust of wind came out of nowhere!”

Translation = “Absolutely buttoned it, couldn’t hit it any better and after waiting for the green to clear for 10 minutes I need an excuse…quick!”


After hitting the ball 50 yards short of the driveable par-4 in winter: “I’d have got there with a bit of run in the summer; the fairways are so soggy!”

Translation = “Absolutely buttoned it, couldn’t hit it any better and after waiting for the green to clear for 10 minutes I need an excuse…quick!”


After pitching it 40 feet short of the hole with 1 foot of backspin: “I was really hurt by the spin on that one.”

Translation = “I GOT BACKSPIN! I have no idea how I did it but I GOT BACKSPIN!”


After slicing another one into the trees: “This is a drawer’s golf course.”

Translation = “I started that right and with my usual 40 yards of slice and there isn’t a golf course on earth I’d score well on today.”


On getting a plugged lie in a bunker: “I can’t believe it’s plugged…these new bunkers are such a joke!”

Translation = “Having hit my ball straight into a bunker from a great height, I was hoping to defy physics and get lucky with a perfect lie.”


On leaving an Eagle Putt just short: “Hit it for God’s sake!”

Translation = “I GOT A BIRDIE! I GOT A BIRDIE! This is going on my CV.”

Rory

Rory

The resident golf geek at Your Golf Travel. Have been lucky enough to have travelled far and wide playing golf and if I’m not writing about it at work, you will probably find me hacking it around my local course. Owner of 2 holes in one and some of the most crooked drives you have ever seen!

What's in my bag?
Srixon ZX5 Driver
Srixon ZX7 irons
Srixon ZX 2 iron
Cleveland RTX Zipcore 52 & 56
Cleveland Fullface 60
Odyssey O Works Red #7 putter

www.yourgolftravel.com/ygt-rory

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